What’s Your Money Personality?

Jill Ciccarelli Rapps, CFP^® | èBella Magazine | June 2018

When it comes to the special bond you share with your spouse or significant other, consistent communication can make or break the relationship.

Arguments about personal finances have consistently ranked as one of the primary causes of marital distress. In many cases, minor financial disagreements between married couples have been bubbling under the surface for years; and in the absence of open communication, these unspoken conflicts eventually lead to a heated dispute.

While having regular conversations about money is a good start for maintaining harmony with your spouse, you have almost certainly encountered a situation in your relationship where he or she seems to be speaking an entirely different language. So how do you engage in meaningful financial conversations when your spouse’s attitudes and behaviors seem entirely disconnected from reality?

When you and your spouse are struggling to find common ground in regards to your personal finances, it may be beneficial to closely evaluate your individual philosophy about money. Because conversations about money are often considered taboo in our society, a surprising number of people haven’t taken the time to reflect on their own beliefs and assumptions.

What is a Money Personality?

At the core of our own financial habits and attitudes, we all possess a guiding principle about money. For instance, some people equate wealth with success, happiness, or power; whereas others associate money with anxiety or evil.

This deeply rooted belief – known as your money personality – is shaped by experiences during your upbringing and by sociocultural norms. Take a minute to consider 2-3 core beliefs you have about money.

Psychotherapist and author Olivia Mellan has focused extensively on the distinctive money personalities that are most prevalent among Americans. In her book Money Harmony: A Road Map for Individuals and Couples, Mellan outlines five major personalities:

1) Spenders derive great pleasure from putting their money to immediate use. In some cases, this may lead them to spend most or all of the money they earn.

Most spenders view money as a means of achieving short-term gratification and happiness – not only for themselves, but for their loved ones and community as well. It may be difficult for spenders to save or invest enough money for future-oriented purchases and long-term financial goals.

2) Hoarders prefer to delay gratification in pursuit of long-term financial security. They most likely have a hard time spending money on themselves and their loved ones – even on practical purchases that other personality types would consider necessities.

Hoarders typically have well-defined financial goals and budgets and take a conservative approach to investing. They view money as the key to stability and are fearful of any financial dilemma that could threaten their orderly lives.

3) Avoiders seek every possible opportunity to procrastinate or delegate their personal financial decisions. Most avoiders believe that the day-to-day details of financial management are a nuisance. Most avoiders want simple, automatic ways to handle their money, or seek out a financial planner to handle financial affairs on their behalf.

Financial avoidance is often rooted in feelings of uncertainty or incompetence when dealing with the details of managing money, but can also be a sign of a deep-seated, paralyzing anxiety that arises when faced with money tasks.

4) Amassers view money as the source of power and self-worth. The more money they have at their disposal to spend, invest and save, the more alive they feel; and a lack of money may lead to feelings of emptiness or depression.

As a result, amassers have a tendency to obsess over generating more money to sustain and enhance the lifestyle they have come to enjoy.

5) Money Monks have a disdain for wealth, believing that money has a corrupting and evil influence on people. They tend to live modest, frugal lives, and they feel uneasy – even guilty – when they believe that they possess too much money.

Many people with this personality also believe that their money should serve as a reflection of their deeper moral values and convictions. As a result, money monks tend to donate money to charities or social causes in lieu of spending, saving or investing.

Discover Your Money Personality!

Take the Money Harmony quiz on Olivia Mellan’s website: www.MoneyHarmony.com

Achieving Money Harmony

Throughout your life, you have probably known someone who matches the description of one of the money personalities to a tee. However, most people can relate to several of these personality types, with one or two dominant traits that guide their financial behavior.

While there is some degree of overlap between certain money personalities (i.e. amassers and hoarders), others are diametrically opposed (i.e. amassers and money monks). That being said, none of the personalities are inherently good or bad. Each personality carries both positive and negative characteristics, and the triumphs and struggles you experience in your financial life are often the result of this underlying philosophy.

Once you have gained a better understanding of your own tendencies, you must learn to appreciate your partner’s money personality. In doing so, you can empathize with your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and actively bridge any gaps that exist between your perspectives.

As you develop a deeper understanding of money personalities, you will open the door to more fruitful conversations about personal finances with your spouse – empowering you to work towards money harmony in your love life.