What Will I Need to Do When My Spouse Passes?

Kim Ciccarelli Kantor | Naples Daily News | March 2017

In a perfect world, you would know exactly what to do and who to call when your spouse passes. You would have checklist of key estate planning considerations, which you had discussed with your advisors and your spouse before they passed. But for all the preparation in the world, it can be difficult to know where to start amidst the sorrow and grief of losing your spouse.

Of course, your first responsibility is family: handling all of the necessary arrangements for your spouse’s funeral and coordinating with your family members. Next, you need to notify your advisors – specifically, your attorney and your family financial advisor – and set up a meeting to gain a better understanding of your responsibilities as the surviving spouse.

Unfortunately, many people fail to adequately prepare for their spouse’s death. Of course, most people execute and sign their key estate planning documents in accordance with their wishes. They work with their financial advisor to name beneficiaries and properly title assets. They open a safe deposit box and make sure there are multiple signors. They secured their domicile and filed the necessary homestead papers. They prepare a balance sheet or a ledger of assets.

While all of these steps are necessary and valuable to the estate planning process, these actions will not sufficiently prepare you for the reality of losing your spouse.

By completing a thorough post-death dress rehearsal with your spouse and advisor team, you will effectively bridge any gaps in your plan that could undermine the proper execution of your estate. Create a comprehensive list of the most important priorities to contemplate at the time of your spouse’s death. As morbid as a post-death rehearsal may sound, a detailed rundown of your responsibilities will prepare you for the worst imaginable scenarios.

For instance, pre-death planning is especially imperative if both you and your spouse are deceased or incapacitated, and you need to defer to your Power of Attorney or successor trustee for oversight. Without a complete understanding of your responsibilities after your spouse’s death, that situation could be a total nightmare.

Your life plan hinges on how well you settle your affairs and the decisions you make. Prior to meeting with your advisors, claim nothing, make no decisions, and do not inform institutions of your spouse’s passing. Instead, gather information in preparation for this time together. Visit your safe deposit box, and bring your original estate documents and your spouse’s death certificate. Review your cash balances in accounts that are in your name – both individual and joint – to ensure that you have “operating” funds during the estate settlement process. Create a list of funeral expenses and medical bills – but wait to pay until you’ve met with your advisors.

During the meeting, talk earnestly with your advisors, who are well-versed on your personal circumstances as well as the planning and distribution options under your plan. Have your advisors review a flow chart of how your affairs should be handled, as well as a checklist of items you will be required to complete in accord with your attorney. Determine who will handle your required income tax return filings, and be sure that creditors are notified if a formal process needs to be followed.

If you need more clarity about your immediate duties after your spouse’s death, run through the process before they pass away. Evaluate your list of executor activities, and seek out estate planning opportunities that allow you and your family with the flexibility you need.

Most importantly, address the question: “What are my most timely priorities?” Then, begin to move forward.